Learning to love my body and the ‘hand that I was dealt’

I’ve always had slender, curvy friends. Tall or not tall, there were lots of small waists, round hips, small hands, small feet, small legs- you get the picture. The girls who look awesome in bikinis and have actually seen the days of a size 2. The girl that Cosmo told me I needed to be. The girl that was more like ‘a girl’, or at least our society’s notion of what a female is. I was always jealous because I wasn’t built that way. Even when I was at my thinnest in high school, I was never a petite girl. Broad shoulders, big rib cage, your stereotypical ‘thunder thighs’. Put me in a strapless dress and I look like a linebacker. Seriously, I’ve never been referred to as slender. Once I tried on a petite shirt because I am short, and I figured well I’m short, maybe I’m petite: I moved and I almost ripped the sleeves right off. So no, definitely not petite. I hated my shoulders, my ribs, my legs- I hated and despised my ‘stocky’ build. Always.

When I got off track with my fitness, my first goal was to lose weight and become the slenderest me I could, but something changed along the way. I adopted the strong is the new skinny mindset. I started making gains with CrossFit and saw my body doing things that I never, ever thought I could do, even when I was thin and at my prime. I started to put more plates on the bar. I started to decrease the width of a band. I started to see heavier kettle bells go over my head. And now, as I’ve started to get more and more into Olympic Lifting and more into CrossFit itself, I realized just how lucky I was to be built the way I am. I love my broad shoulders that support the bar overhead. I love that my back is getting wider and how racer back tank tops accentuate that fact. I love that my thighs touch, because they’re muscle. I love that my short, stocky frame gives me a good center of gravity and I can really focus on lifting heavy shit. 

I know that no body type is ideal for CrossFit or lifting. That’s the beauty of the sport- it really is for everyone. I just love how CrossFit has helped me love who I am and how I am built, how it’s changed the way I see myself in the mirror. Instead of someone got a raw deal by being built like a boy, I see someone who is getting  stronger every day. I see someone who will eventually walk into a room and a dude will say ‘she could probably kick my ass’. I have never felt so much like a strong ass chick as I do right now, and I’m not even THERE. I’m not even a fourth of the way through this journey. 

The lesson that I’ve learned and that I hope everyone can learn that’s struggling is that we are exactly the way we were meant to be, for better or for worse. And there is beauty in everyone and everything. We didn’t get dealt a raw deal. There’s a reason we are who we are, and we just have to find a happiness inside of us to help us understand that. 

I Did a Chin Up & 10 Days In: Total Progression in Pics

Biggest news to date:

I DID A CHIN UP!

My friend went to go get us a band so we could work on them, and I just grabbed the bar to mess around until she got back. Last time I tried, I could barely hoist my feet off the ground. This time I started to rise…and I kept rising, and before I knew it, I was over the bar. OVER IT. I dropped down and gave out a ‘holy shit!’ and asked if that really happened. And then I tried again, 3 more times, and nailed it. Happy DAAAYYYYYY! Thank you, CrossFit for making me love who I am becoming. Every day, I become a better person when I set foot in that box. 


So I’m now 11 days into the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. The biggest challenge thus far, for me personally, is remembering. Honestly, I can’t remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, if I locked the front door, If I used conditioner in my hair, where I need to be this weekend and the last time I got my blood drawn for my thyroid check. It’s bad, y’all. It actually kind of scares me, sometimes, how bad my memory is. I’d like to think it’s just because I have a million things going on and not because I suck at life. But remembering to take my supplements has been a challenge. Not that it’s hard or it takes time, or even effort. I just suck at life, as we have already established.

BUT! Here we are, 11 days in, and it’s time for a check in.

3 EL-BE’s (that’s lbs) down

1.5 inches from my baby-belly-even-though-I’ve-never-had-more-than-a-food-baby-baby-belly

Energy through the roof

8 WOD’s killed dead- I took Spark 2 times in one day on Friday, and did the WOD twice. The second time, I managed to add 10 lbs to all the strength, 10lbs to the WOD weight and cut over a minute off my time. That Spark is the real deal, yo.

12 miles pummeled.

Needless to say, I feel great.

Here’s a pic of my progression. Left side, Day 1. Right Side, Day 10. I’ll take it! I really want to wear that bikini on the reg.

10day

So now I get into the max phase, which is supposedly when all the real magic happens. So I’m going to continue to eat clean (Whole30 approved diet) and work my ass off and see what happens.

Here is what I ate:

Breakfast: Nothing fancy here, I kept it simple

Eggs scrambled with nothing in them

Bacon

Avocado

Tomato


Lunch/Dinner

PaleOMG’s Chorizo Stuffed Sweet Potato Skins

Grilled chicken with avocado and tomato, with a bit of salt and lemon juice

Grilled chicken with sliced avocado, peppers and onions

Grilled chicken with steamed broccoli

The Paleo Kitchen’s Perfect Burger with PaleOMG’s Sweet Potato Wedges


That’s been pretty much it. If you can’t tell, I am obsessed with everything that Juli Bauer puts out. I have yet to have a bad meal from her. And recently I was introduced to Hold the Grain. This girl is only 19 and she gave me a recipe for chocolate covered donuts. I love her forever.

I’m going to my first CrossFit competition this weekend, at the Central Florida Throwdown. There are about 30 people from CFTB that are competing, so I’m going to go check it out before the Ohio State/VT game. I’m just spectating, but I’m hoping it’s super inspirational and it makes me want to be even more of a WOD-killa. I need that as a shirt…anyone know of a good shirt maker that has a WOD-Killa shirt? I’m pretty excited to be surrounded by serious fitness and people with awesome drives and attitudes! I never thought in a million years a year ago, that fitness would be so important to me, but it’s become a huge part of my life. So much so I am going to be signing up to get my Level 1 Nutrition Certification. I want to help coach people to wellness, in a multitude of ways: Fitness, Diet and Mind. So we will see how that goes. Because, you know, I need another thing to do. I’m one of those people who likes to be a student. I’m effed up. 32 and looking for more knowledge. Knowledge bombs, all over the place.

In my shoes. Literally. And my stomach progression.

Someone is. Right now. Just walking their ass around in my shoes. And not just any shoes- oh no. My Adidas Powerlifter 2’s. How, you ask? They broke into my Jeep Tuesday night, threw everything around, left my New Balance’s and stole my half used bottle of Kate Walsh Billionaire Boyfriend perfume from the dash and my lifting shoes. They are stupid assholes, for a few reasons:

1. I wear a men’s lifter, but I’m also a girl. I have a big size foot for a lady (size 10) but from what I’m told, my 8.5 mens shoes are pretty small. So I hope you have teeny, tiny hands, teeny tiny feet to fit in them, and a teeny, tiny little sad penis to match. 

2. They’re LIFTERS. The bottom of those things are hard and flat, on purpose. You can walk in them, but not super easy. I am hoping to cheese that this little punk ass shit saw my shoes, thought ‘Oooo, Adidas!’, stole them, tried them on, and was like ‘what the shit is this’? They deserve the disappointment.

I know that they are just shoes, but I don’t have the $90 to replace them right now, and they actually meant something to me. Every time I wore them, I got stronger. Every time I put them on, I got a little further from the unhealthy girl I was. They made me a better person. Momma said they was my magic shoe-ews.


So yeah, I’m upset. And they stole them from my house- it creeps me out to know some prick was that close to where we sleep. I hope though that they’re wearing them one day, because I’m going to be able to roll up and chase them down, since, you know, my feet will be able to bend and I can run them down. Assholes.

RIP babies. I hope you’re happy out there, somewhere.

My SHOES!

My SHOES!

 

In other news- Day 4 of my Advocare 24 Day Challenge, and I feel REALLY good. Spark- holy crap that stuff is amazing. Not one single cup of coffee in 4 days, not one single yawn until bedtime, and I’ve been sleeping better too. Below is my progress thus far. I haven’t really seen anything but I am told to let the Cleanse Phase do it’s job, so I’m keeping the faith. I’ve posted my friend/Coach Tyler’s results, and they’re pretty inspiring. But I’ve felt great during my workouts and amazing all the times in between. I decided to do it because I just can’t lose my freaking stomach, no matter what I am doing, so I wanted the help. Plus I just wanted to up my nutrition. I’m eating ridiculously clean nowadays and so I feel like my food intake is good. I like that I get to eat actual, regular food the whole time. There’s no meal replacement shakes all day here for this girl. I need FOOD.  But I’m not going to kid anyone- I want to get in better shape and if I get even half the results as everyone else I’ve seen, then I’ll be happy.  I’m going to document every day in the same bikini and see what I get. Hopefully I won’t look 4 months pregnant anymore, and this really amazing feeling of good will continue. Please excuse my stomach. And my lack of boobies. I should be really embarrassed but I just don’t care what trolls think and I promised to be transparent. First pic is my profile when I started working out a year ago, to now. I’m proud of me, but it needs to go all the way away.

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I bought that bikini because I’m big on the law of attraction, and I wanted to buy it like I could wear it already, and then eventually I will. So far, I haven’t, but one day I will. One day.

Ty's 24 Day Challenge

Ty’s 24 Day Challenge

I’m getting back to WOD’s now, but I’m still running. Training has been insane but I’m so committed and determined. I have definitely learned that I am just not a running nut, and I really missed my CrossFit. But the running has helped my endurance and I feel like it’s helping with my weightless goals, so I’m going to keep it up. Plus I’ve met some awesome people, so it’s worth it! But back to CrossFit:

I’ve reduced the weight during my WOD’s because my Coach Kyle said that for losing weight, lighten up the weight, move faster, and get your heart rate up. Also, I was told that when I started running, my PR’s would slow, and they have. Why is that? Has anyone else had the same thing happen? So I’ve taken the weight down, but this also now means that I’m getting WOD’s done in 5-10 minutes. After a year, I’m still trying to find my happy medium. So if you’ve just started CrossFit, and you’re wondering when it will all click in, just know that those of us that have been doing it for awhile are exactly in the same boat as you. Hang in there and keep going!

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Nano Nano!

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Ugh, I missed you so.

I hope everyone is having a great week and is excited about College Football coming back as I am. Even though my QB went down and I have a true freshman that I’ve never seen and isn’t a dual threat, I’m still excited. I am going to hit the hay and get this recovery started! Have a great night!

 

Running, Whole30 Recipes, and More. Whoooopieeeee

So I’m on the final week of Whole30, I feel pretty, pretty good on it! I haven’t seen the kind of dramatic change that a lot of other people have, but I was already Paleo before hand, so maybe that’s why. But I do feel great. No sugars. No cheats. Just real food for 30 days!  I also stopped weighing myself. Let me tell you how scary that is. So I’m not sure if I lost any weight, but I really need to break this reliance on the scale. But I do feel good and nourished on it, so I think I’m going to keep this strict Paleo regime up even after tomorrow. I do think I’ve slimmed down in inches some more- in my arms, legs and face (here’s my original post and starting point, 50 lbs ago), and my friends say they can see the difference- what a wonderful feeling!

Face progression!

The start of the journey

The start of the journey

Beginning of Whole30

Beginning of Whole30

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After Whole30


Running! I’m the coordinator now for 2 awesome nights with Running For Brews. Here are my runners- aren’t they fab?

outpostcourigans

Running is still going well. I still don’t like it, I really don’t. I think it’s the feeling of not breathing, lol. I can now run a mile and almost a half without stopping, and even with intervals, I’ve gotten my 5k time down to around 36 minutes. I know, I know, it’s not great. But the fact that I can run at all without wanting to cry makes me really proud of how far I’ve come. I actually got myself into a size 10 pair of pants comfortably. Instantly, Billy Bob from Varsity Blues started playing in my head.

 

Almost single digits, baby!

Almost single digits, baby!

Now, while the running is getting better, my CrossFit and lifting is taking a toll. I talked at length with my coach before I started this running routine, and we agreed that I would run to help me break this plateau and finish losing these 25 lbs I still have to lose (I’m estimating on the actual pounds…since I stopped weighing myself, I’m going off of how I look and how my clothes fit). Once I hit my weight loss goal, then I’ll be back to a full on CrossFit routine. To help keep my strength up, I’ve been just lifting on running days, which has helped. The days I go to CrossFit, I do moderate weight and focus on my form. But the running has helped my endurance like you would not believe. So I’m thankful for what it is doing, but I miss being a hardcore CrossFit cult….err….athlete. I’ll continue running after I hit my weight loss goal since the group of people I’ve met through RFB have been so awesome, but I will definitely get back to focusing on building muscle.

Which brings me to my next chapter- I’m starting the Advocare 24 Day Challenge on Monday. Everyone from the Box has been doing it, and having ridiculous results, so I figured I might as well try it too. I’ll document with before pictures on Monday, which will be day 1. There are about 30 of us doing it, and there’s money on the line, so you better believe I’m

Yep. I CrossFit with some mighty fine people.

Yep. I CrossFit with some mighty fine people.

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Anyway, since I’m just about done with Whole30, I figured I would share some recipes that got me through. They were all super tasty, and went a long way. I use Sunday’s as my food prep day because I just don’t have time now that I have all of these things going on. So, if you’re thinking of trying a Whole30, and don’t want to spend your life cooking, here are some go-to’s that really made a difference.


 

Main Dishes

 

Whole30 Picadillo from The Primal Food Blog

Guys, I freaking love me some Cuban food. Like no joke. There’s a place in Sarasota called Jose’s Real Cuban Food that looks like it’s going to fall down any moment (no, really, there’s a 2×4 holding up the ceiling) but the minute they slide Taste of Cuba in front of me, I cry. Happy little tears.

So when I found this recipe for Picadillo, and coupled it with the Crockpot, I was in Whole30 HEAVEN. I boiled up some yucca and poured this over said yucca with some sliced, sauteed plantains. It was good eating for DAYS.

 


Garlic Pork by PaleoOMG

I made this again in the Crockpot. Can we see a pattern emerging? I just find pork to be so versatile, buying a pork loin and tossing in a Crockpot to marinate and cook down to total tender loveliness is my jam. I ate this with sauteed plantains, roasted broccoli, roasted brussel sprouts and asparagus.


Smokey Chicken Thighs by Our Paleo Life

Chicken thighs are cheap. Even the farm fresh kind. I was pretty amazed and I’m also cheap, so when I found this recipe I decided to try ’em out. I did go with boneless though, because I’m lazy and I just wanted to tear into them. But again, they’re cheap, and they go far, so this was a great meal to make.

Once they were fully cooked, I removed the bacon and finished it off in a pan because I found it was too mushy for my taste. Coupled these with caulimash and roasted asparagus and it was food porn.

 


Fully Loaded Citrus Marinaded Chicken with Chipotle Mayo by PaleOMG

This is, like, my favorite meal even when I’m not on Whole30. I can’t get enough of the dang chipotle mayo. I always make my own (I can’t ever find Sir Kensington’s or whatever his name is) but for this, I used just a mix of chipotle spices instead of the Adobo sauce because of sugar.

 


 Spicy Shepherd’s Pie Chorizo Meatloaf

Another meal I love dearly, and that LJLD loves too, so it’s a win win. This time though, I had to nix the chorizo, again for the sugar, but I spiced it up with Mexican spices to give it some zing. That PaleOMG lady, she knows her stuff


Creamy Broccoli, Cauli and Sweet Potato Soup, Featuring Bacon

Ok so this one is a recipe I dreamed up in my head. If someone else has created it, my bad, I didn’t copy off of you. I literally had broccoli, cauliflower and sweet potatoes chillin’ in the fridge that needed to be eaten. so I decided to whip up a soup. It was raining here in Florida and rainy days always make me want soup. So there you go. And I didn’t take a picture so you’ll just have to imagine the goodness of this really filling soupettysoup.

5 cups of homemade chicken stock

2 cans of full fat coconut milk

2 heads of broccoli, separated, cut down to florets

2 heads of cauliflower, separated, cut down to florets

2 cups of white onions

2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed

10 pieces of bacon, fried and crumbled

1 tbsp of Kerrygold butter

2 tbsp of minced garlic

2 tbsp oregano

2 tbsp thyme

1 tsp salt

1 tsp black pepper

 

First I sauteed the onions in the butter until they were fragrant and brown in the bottom of a large kettle. Then I added the garlic and let that get super fragrant. In the same kettle, I poured in the chicken stock, the coconut milk, one head of broccoli florets, and one head of cauliflower florets, along iwth the oregano, thyme, salt and pepper. I like all of that simmer down for about 30 minutes. Then I took my immersion blender and blended everything up into a nice, thick consistency. Then I added my remaining broccoli, cauli, the sweet potatoes and the bacon, and let the soup simmer on low for another 30 minutes, until everything was nice and tender. It easts like a stew, lasts awhile and tastes like unicorns are parading on your tongue.

The answer is always yes.

The answer is always yes.

 


Breakfast Hash

Again, another recipe I concocted based on the ingredients I had in my house. I like sleep. A lot. And I don’t necessarily like getting up all the time to make breakfast. If I can get that extra 5 minutes in the morning, I will. So I made this hash a few times to let me stay in dreamy land longer.

1 lbs grassfed ground beef

6 eggs

1 cup of diced white onions

1 sweet potato, peeled and diced

2 tbsp Cinnamon

First, brown your onions and your sweet potato, until the onions are tender and fragrant and the sweet potato is soft. In a separate pan, brown your ground beef, and drain if needed. Combine the onions, sweet potato and ground beef. Whisk all 6 eggs and the cinnamon in a bowl, and then pour over the hash. Cook until the eggs are at your desired level of done-ness and boom. You got breakfast, baby.


 

So there you go. What I ate for my main meals during this Whole30!

Things I missed? Freaking treats. And alcohol, I’m not going to lie. A glass of wine, or cider or a craft brew. I missed those things. Oh man, especially with all the pumpkin ales coming out. Could anything be better than pumpkin season? No, for real. I know that beer isn’t Paleo by any way, shape or form, but I’m lucky that my body tolerates it pretty well. And I don’t drink it that much. I’m so far past the point of slamming brews. Now I enjoy a beer like I do a glass of wine….I try to taste all the flavors in it and appreciate the craft.

 

Mmmm….beer.

 

 

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The Games and Whole30

You guys.  I am totally geeking out right now. I stayed in almost this entire weekend when there was no rain and the weather was hot (which I love). Coulda gone to the beach. Coulda gone to Disney. Coulda gone to the pool. But nope, I ran home and watched The Games. And do I regret that? NOPE.

This is my first time paying attention to The Games. This time last year, I had just started working out and CrossFit terrified me, so I didn’t really understand the competition.

This year, The Games have been the perfect reminder of why I started, how much I love it, and why I’ve stuck with it. I have so, so much work to do, but I know I wouldn’t have gotten this far EVER if it weren’t for the people- the coaches and my fellow athletes. I’m still not particularly awesome at it, but I’ll get there- I’m confident in that, again, because of the people. The athletes that competed in this year’s Games were the true personification of good sportsmanship, and their camaraderie can teach us all something about ourselves as human beings.

I hope the people who are the biggest naysayers of CrossFit watched at least some of the Games, and seeing that when taught right (like at CFTB) CrossFit is beautiful., but the community that surrounds it is the most beautiful thing about it.

Congrats to Camille and Rich! The Fittest on Earth!

 

Whole 30 update:

Thank god for Club Soda. No joke. We did venture out for some dinner last night after The Games wrapped and it was a place on the beach with a really good 2 man band. we sat and watched the sunset and normally I would have a cider or a beer but obviously I couldn’t. So instead I got club soda with lime. It felt like I was drinking a cocktail, even though I wasn’t. I even started tricking my brain into thinking its Sprite. It kind of works. Almost.

But really, it hasn’t been too bad at all. Last week’s meals were relatively the same: eggs, bacon and avocado for breakfast. Shredded chicken, with sweet potato and broccoli for lunch, and pretty much the same thing for dinner. I knew I would get bored with that, so i did some research and I was an absolute beast in the kitchen today. I made:

  • Mofongo
  • Shredded chicken
  • Whole 30 approved Picadillo
  • Caulirice
  • Maduros
  • PaleOMG’s Chorizo meatloaf shepherd’s pie, without the chorizo or the adobo sauce because of the sugar
  • guacamole
  • Boiled yucca

Yep, I went nuts, but I won’t get bored this week.

The things I miss most are the sweets, even though they’re Paleo. I can’t even have a sweet potato brownie right now, or a scoop of paleo ice-cream. And since it’s a temperature of Satan’s balls outside, that kinda sucks.

But this morning the scale read 171. So I think I’ll keep it up!

 

Someone asked me what my workout schedule looks like, so I’ll post it below. Have a great week everyone!

 

This weeks workout schedule looks as so:

Monday and Tuesday

Day: Lifting or WOD

Night: Running for Brews

Wednesday

Night: WOD and then Lift

Thursday

Day: Lift or Wod

Night: Running for Brews

Friday

Day: Lifting

Night: WOD

Saturday:
WOD

Sunday:
Active recovery

 

 

 

The Games, Running, and Whole30

You guuuysssssss. It’s time for THE GAMES! I’ve been watching at work, keeping a teeny tiny web window open in the bottom corner so I can see what’s going on. I’ve been so impressed with the masters group. These people are over 60 and they’d kick my butt all over the place. It’s just so amazing to watch these people, at any age, just be complete masters of their bodies. Really. I am awed and humbled.

So I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t spent nearly as much time in the box lately as I should. I did go to a fabulous snatch clinic put on by my coach Sam and I have to say, she was super stellar in getting back to basics. My snatch has never looked so good. I’m really getting into lifting. I love it so. I love feeling strong and like I could look at everyday appliances and know I could lift them above my head. But I also need to get better across the board, and that’s what brought me to running.

Ugh, running. My arch nemesis. The thing I hate most in this world. I just wanted to not hate it anymore. Everyone else gets to run in pretty shoes and get blasted with colored something or other, and put little stickers on their cars, and I wanted to do that too. Plus I really think that adding more cardio will help me with the WOD’s. So we joined a new group called Running For Brews, where basically we run a 5k and then drink after. My friend Jess is an avid runner who does interval running, and I thought that would be a good way to get introduced to longer distances- and it totally was. We were pulling down a 5k of 2 minutes running, 1 minute walking at first around 40 minutes, and now we’ve got it down to about 35-37. In a month’s time, running 3 times a week. I didn’t think that was too bad, eh? She tried to kill me on Tuesday and ran super fast, and after about mile 2 I started to cramp on my side, so I slowed it down for a little while, but still came in under 40. So score. I have, however, signed up for 2 5k’s thus far, and I plan to have more in my future. One is the Flavor Run, here in Tampa in September. I even got my momma to sign up and do it with me. I’m pretty excited to share the experience with her. I also signed up for the Disney Princess 5k in February. And you best believe I am rocking a tiara for that shit.

 

I also wanted to see if running would help spur some weight loss. I’ve just been stuck. First I was stuck around 185 for a few months. Now I’m hovering at 176 (so yay, 9 lb weight loss!). Even after a month of running and CrossFit. And it’s just not happening. So I made the decision to try Whole30. No alcohol, no paleofied treats. For 30 days. I mean, really in the scheme of things, this shouldn’t be hard. But why is it that the second you restrict yourself, you can’t stop thinking of everything you can’t have? I think the worst part about this is that we decided to cut out coffee too. Oh, my beloved coffee, I miss you so much already. The thing I like about Paleo is that I never really felt restricted because there’s always a Paleo version of something I’m craving (like these sweet potato brownies, HELLOOOO).  But this is some serious stuff. So far, I’m 3 days in and I haven’t really hurt for anything. Now, I still have a long way to go, but at the same time, it’s only 27 more days. I can tell you though, when it’s over, sweet potato brownies are in my future. But I’m hoping to feel as amazing as everyone describes feeling when it’s all said and done. I guess we shall see.

 

Ok peeps. I am beat and I have to go to the dermatologist tomorrow to get some moles checked out. If I have to get any removed I’ll be out of commission for almost 2 weeks, and that totally bums me the heck out. But let’s put some positive thoughts out there that nothing gets taken!

 

Gnite, chaps!

365 Days. Plus 4. Whoopsie

Hi kids. It’s been a really long time, and for that, I am super sorry. Not that anyone is really waiting on me to post anything, but still, I owe it to this blog and to myself to keep updating. I started a new job, started running, it became summer- you know, all the usual excuses. But now I’m starting to find balance again, and boom, I’m back! I really needed to write a post anyway, because I’m at my one year anniversary of getting my ass off the damn couch and doing something. One whole year! Besides the fact that now that I’m in my 30’s, time is just flying by at ridiculous speeds, I can not believe it’s been a year. Really, it’s been a year of living. I haven’t been going to CrossFit for a year yet, but exercise is exercise, ya know?   So a year I think, is best told in pictures.

First pic

First pic

Boom. That was the picture I took of myself the night before I set foot in the gym. Do I look unhappy? Uhhhh, yeah. I was. super unhappy (The horrendous hair day I was having probably didn’t help. Note I’m a blonde here…this post should also shed light on my yearly hair color cycle). I had enough of being like this, of getting winded easily, of hiding from people that knew me for more than a few years. I was freaking over it. So I sucked it up, buttercup, and made LJLD go to the gym with me. I think at that point if you had asked me if I would rather feel the way I felt when I was on the treadmill, or watch Michigan Football clips, I’d choose the treadmill.  Ok bad example….umm….treadmill or have my eyes poked by sporks, I’d have chosen the sporks. God it was so hard. I hated it so much, but dude did I feel better when I got off that thing. And it became an addiction.

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One month and 15 lbs down

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Cruisin’ with my Florida BFF and having a damn good time. (Still blonde)

And then, I found CrossFit. Lovely, beautiful CrossFit with it’s sweat angels and waddling and bruises and ‘Oh my god KILL ME’ moments. And the rest is history.

My first CrossFit photo!

My first CrossFit photo!

 

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Hanging out in Puerto Rico, November 2013. My clothes were way too big, SCORE! (Oh hey there, big red…)

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Another cruise with my fraaaaand in January 2014, and yet, another hair color. (We will call this color rust…aka trying to go brown but the red won’t get the eff out)

Getting ready to lift what was a heavy deadlift at the time. February 2014

Getting ready to lift what was a heavy deadlift at the time. February 2014

Wall walks in April! I was just so glad to do it....

Wall walks in April! I was just so glad to do it….(Kinda brownish here)

 

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Being Fancy in May. You already know. And back to blonde

And here's where I am today.

And here’s where I am today. Blonde.

So there you go. That’s a very small snippet of a journey that’s still not over. I’ve been really bad about taking measurements and things like that, but I think the photos do a pretty stellar job of documenting my progress. I have wanted to give up so many times, you have absolutely no idea. I’ve wanted to sit down on that couch again and stuff my face full of pizza (ok, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do that every now and then), but I just wanted to stay down and stuff my face. I’ve been tired, and cranky, and PMSing, and just over it, but I went anyway. I went for the great people I’ve met at my box, I went for my husband who reaches his hand all the way around my waist, or says things like ‘I can barely see you now’, I go for my parents who loved me enough to never say anything to me about how I had gained, and I go for me. Because at almost 32, I’ve found a real determination to not be the fat girl in my friend’s wedding photos.

A year ago, I was struggling on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I would cover up the timer with a towel so I wouldn’t have to see how long I had to be in agony. I dreaded the gym and the sweat and the feeling of being completely out of shape. Even though I was determined, and I was there 6 days a week, I still hated it. Now my social life and my fun revolves around working out. I’m at CrossFit 4-5 days a week, and that’s become my social circle. I don’t know if I would have stuck to all of this like I had if it weren’t for community I’ve found there.

I also am now running 3-4 days a week because I still have a pesky 20lbs or so to get off- mostly in my stomach and arms. But I needed some more cardio in my routine.   But in running I’ve found community too with a group of people in a club called ‘Running For Brews‘, which basically means we run, and then we drink beer together and talk about our run- it’s awesome. But no joke, I’m a member of a running group. A RUNNING GROUP. And not only am I in a running group, tomorrow starts the first day that I’m running (get it, mua ha ha!) the group on Monday’s. Like holy shit, who have I become!? Who is this girl pulling her husband off the couch to freaking RUN? Who’s this girl that’s skipping mani/pedi lunch hours to get in a double session of lifting? Who is this girl that is completely GEEKING out over these beautiful, glorious lifting shoes (In Ohio State colors, no less- boom shackalaaaaacka!)?

My SHOES!

My SHOES!

Well, what do you know. It’s me. Hell yes, it’s ME.

 

Again, you have to love yourself no matter what. And I really did, but I just didn’t love the package that I was in. And I didn’t love how doing every day things was a struggle. I just didn’t want to live like that anymore. So I’m not. I’ve still got a long way to go, but my goals have changed. I am now obsessively bugging my coach Sam to start training me in Olympic lifting. I want to lift some heavy things above my head. And pop my hips, let’s not lie. I love a good hip thrust. But I don’t want to be skinny anymore, like I thought I wanted when I started this journey. I now want to be a total bad ass. See goal wall picture for proof:

Goal Wall

Goal Wall

So here we go again, another 365 days on the horizon, and I’m super excited to see what this has to bring.  Just as long as it brings Doritos.

Next Up:

Whole30 and the Advocare 24 Day Challenge


 

Stats:

Start weight:217

Current weight: 175 lbs

Amount of muscle added: A shit ton

1st deadlift: 65 lbs

Current deadlift: 250 lbs

1st power clean: 35 lbs

Current power clean: 110 lbs

Running: Slow as IE 7

Running: still slow as IE 7 but I’m doing 3 5k’s a week

Pull ups Starting: Blue band the size of a tractor belt

Pull ups now- the purple band, which is the second smallest. A real pull up is coming….I promise!

Gains: more than you could ever know.

Follow me on Instagram, and keep me posted on your progress!