Hey everyone- happy Sunday! I wish I could report that I was super productive and stayed on a strict paleo, healthy diet this weekend, but I would be lying through my teeth. Like a little kid who tells you he didn’t pick your flowers but is holding the bouquet in his hand lying. There’s a couple that Lumberjack lookin’ dude and I hang out with a lot. We go on cruises together frequently (yes, frequently. DINKlife, baby), but because I’m venturing out on my own we don’t have a lot of extra cash hanging around, so we decided to have a fake interim cruise at their house near the pool. We also carried on the tradition of drinking ourselves silly and eating things we know we’ll regret. So of course, now I’m regretting it. But the difference is that I’m regretting it, not beating myself up over it. The fact of the matter is that I eat ridiculously healthy 85% of the time, so if I spend one weekend desperately holding onto my fleeting youth- so be it. It was fun, we had a great time, and we made memories.
As I’m sitting here on this lovely Sunday (it really was a BEAUTIFUL day) I’m catching up on my pinning. I keep seeing this one pin popping up in my fitness search: The Five Emotional Stages of CrossFit. It’s a pretty good read, so give it a shot. And it’s pretty true, her 5 emotional stages. It made me reflect on mine, so I figured I would share them with you. If you’re just starting out, one phase may last longer than another, and it’s totally fine. It takes a long time to get past prolonged feelings of dread and pain, but you will get there, I promise. So anyway- my stages of a WOD, and what I’m thinking through it:
1. Oh snap! The new WOD is posted!
This is what I think when I get the email that CFTB has posted a new WOD. I get my email on my phone (does anyone not anymore?), and it doesn’t matter what I’m doing or where I’m at- I will drop EVERYTHING to read that WOD. You should probably make sure you don’t hand me your baby between the hours of 7-9PM, because that’s usually when it gets posted, and I will drop your child to get to that post. Sorry, but I HAVE to know what it says. I am filled with anticipation as my link loads: Will I be able to do it? Is there going to be a lot of running? How scary is this going to be? Will I look like an idiot? Did I do laundry? I’m really not sure if I have clean yoga pants. I need to buy some new yoga pants. That reminds me, they’re having a big sale at Old Navy, I can get them cheap. Oooo they have new sundresses! No no, focus Tricia, focus. Oh crap, here it comes….the link is loading….please don’t be running, PLEAAASE don’t be running….
2. Ok, I got this!
I seem to get a little too overconfident for some reason sometimes when I read the WOD. 12 rounds for time of 50 air squats with 30 burpees and 15 thrusters at 145 lbs? I’ll do all of that, PLUS bake a cake. A PALEO cake. I usually carry this feeling through the night, especially when I’m trying to prove to Lumberjack lookin’ dude that my WOD is not only harder than his, I can do it better than he can. We’re a tad bit competitive.
3. I don’t think I can do this.
This is the feeling I get when I walk into the box, and I’m watching the class before me peel themselves off the ground, leaving sweat angels in their wake. Oh the pain, the PAIN they must have endured to produce those glistening body puddles! If they just sweated that much, and they’re laid out on the floor, and they’re in MUCH better shape than I am, there’s no way I can do this.
4. I am never, ever, EVER doing this EVER AGAIN
This train of thought brings us to the title of this post. I think some of the most brutal thoughts you can think at yourself come during the workout. Your muscles are going to be burning. You’re going to be gasping for air. You’re probably going to feel like puking. There’s a sinking feeling I get as I watch the countdown clock tick down 10 seconds, and I’m staring 12 minutes of nonstop movement in the face. As a dwindling overweight girl, the idea of having to move constantly is daunting. I used to look for any reason I could to either move minimally or not at all. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I just didn’t want anyone to notice the struggle that came with moving. The heavy breathing, the sweating, the desperate acting job I’m putting on to hide the fact that I can’t move like my cohorts.
And now I have to keep going, under the watchful eye of my coach, the people waiting for our class to finish, those hanging back from their earlier class. Usually WODS require a repetition of movements after circuits. We call them reps. And a lot of times the reps either have to be completed in a certain amount of time, or as fast as you can. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve completed a rep, with 10 more minutes on the clock, or 6 more reps in front of me, and I’ve thought ‘I can’t do this. I am NEVER doing this again’. It seems so daunting, to complete these reps and all the exercises ahead of me. I’m sure that my legs or my arms or my back are going to give up, and I’m going to be hunched over that trashcan in the corner, puking up everything I’ve eaten that day. I am cursing myself out, cursing my thighs out, cursing my 25 year old self for eating all those damn cookies to the point that I need to be here, in this moment right now, cursing my decision making, cursing the fact that I made a goal to be in a bikini by July. As I’m doing all of this, I’m also certain- I know for a FACT- that I am not coming back tomorrow, and I just don’t know if I’m going to come back at all that week. I’m going to be too tired, too sore, too putyourexcusehere to come back tomorrow. Definitely NOT coming back.
But the crazy thing is that as I’m thinking all of these things, I’m still moving. I’m still going, I’m still completing the reps, and the next thing I know, there’s 3 minutes on the clock, or 2 reps left…then there’s a minute of work left, and as my coach is saying to me, I can do anything for a minute, right? And I do it. I complete it. I just made those X amount of minutes, those X amount of reps my bitch. And now I’m laying on the mat, making the prettiest little sweat angel you ever did see. Which brings me to stage 5….
5. 7PM: WHERE IS THE WOD??????????????????????????????
I think this is a common theme with CrossFitters, and those of use that work out in a group. The important thing that I have to try to remember to tell myself, is that no matter what is on that list, I can do it. And if I can’t do it exactly as RX’d (as it’s written), it’s ok. My coaches will make sure that I’m doing something that’s both safe and conducive to my bikini in July lofty goals. Every second that you’re moving, every time that you’re staring at that kettlebell, hands on your hips, gathering the courage to bend down and pick it up and swing it above your head in a hip thrust that would intimidate Ron Jeremy, you’re letting your new self win. And that’s the best emotional stage you can possibly hit.